I spent a long time in Chiang Mai and had the chance to explore the surrounding are moreso than I had before. I have always loved Chiang Mai, but this experience made me fall in love with it even more.
I learned about an opportunity to talk to monks and help them improve their English. This sounded fun and worthwhile to me, so I headed on over to Wat Suan Dok. The temple also doubles as a university (makes sense since it’s also right next to the Chiang Mai University) for the monks. As I was wandering around the temple trying to find the Monk Chat center, I suddenly saw these beautiful white structures. I eventually find Monk Chat, walking inside timidly not knowing what to expect. I see three monks sitting there, two of whom are already speaking to a German couple. I’m paired with the remaining monk, who looks about my age.
Seated across from him, I introduce myself.
O: “My name is Ottama.”
V: “I’m Vandana.”
O: “Van-da-na? Teach me how to say it correctly.”
This is a complete sidenote, but warranted: a person’s name is the sweetest thing someone can hear (thank you How to Win Friends and Influence People, for teaching me this, and subsequently now impressing everyone I meet that I remember their name). I try extremely hard now to remember someone’s name and pronounce it correctly. No one is bad at names. No, you are just lazy and don’t care enough to remember someone’s name. So, if you can remember my name or pronounce it correctly, or more unlikely, both, I will instantly like you.
Needless to say, Ottama was a master at this, so I immediately approved him as a buddy. He began to ask me questions in very good English, pausing every so often to search for the correct word.
O: “Where are you from?”
V: “America!”
O: “Oh! America! I want to go there!”
V: “I’m from San Francisco, California. You should come!”
O: “One day. I want to go to California first. I have friends in Texas and Ohio.”
V: “Really? What are they doing there?”
O: “Yes, they disrobed.”
V: “Disrobing?”
O: “My friend quit being a monk to pursue different studies at the university and now is working in America.”
I had no idea that this was possible. It seems obvious that one could quit being a monk, but the thought had never come across my mind. I assumed they were in it for life. I wondered why one would quit.
I learn that he’s from Myanmar, but came to Chiang Rai because the opportunity to learn English and complete his studies was better in Thailand. He is delighted to learn that I’ve been to Myanmar. I show him all my photos which brings a huge smile to his face.
We continue to discuss everything: his background, studying as a monk, traveling, music, TV, Mr. Bean…
V: “So, are you allowed to listen to music? What do you like?”
O: “Umm.. Taylor Swift, Maroon 5, Justin Bieber—”
V: “You like the Biebs?!”
O: “Yeah! Baby baby baby!!”
I am so surprised by this but I love it. And he doesn’t stop there.
O: “Also One Direction. Except now they only have four people!”
At this point I’m laughing so hard that he knows this fact and sort of cares. Yes, I know, Zayn left. It was a sad day for One Direction (#tbt to that time I saw One Direction in concert front row standing next to a 40 year old mom. It was awesome).
Though he’s allowed to listen to music, there’s so many other activities he can’t participate it. He is barred from playing any instruments, which I discover after telling him I love playing the piano. Monks can’t play any sports. They can only wear a specified 9 colors, but he wears primarily orange and brown as most do in Thailand. They must shave their heads. Their robes must cover all skin. Men and women can’t touch. They aren’t allowed to have any tattoos, save for the one he tattooed on himself as a boy— a picture of a leaf from the bodhi tree.
I ask him what his day is like.
“I wake up at 5am. Sometimes. Sometimes I am lazy and do not wake up for morning chant,” he says laughing and I do too. I’d probably do the same. Cheeky guy.
“Then we have alms ceremony. We get donations of food and money from the local people. Then we eat our morning meal. I have some classes and meditation. Sometimes there are prayers. We have the last meal of the day. Then I study or do Facebook.”
Hold on, you have a Facebook? He pulls out his smartphone to show me. I’m now regretting not friending him on Facebook. Of course monks have Facebooks.
I ask him if he has a favorite food. Their meals are simple and meager, the remainder of their food for the day coming from the donations during the alms ceremony.
“I don’t have favorite. In Buddhism you do not have favorites. We simply accept what we are given and I am happy with that. As a monk, we have two duties: meditation, and to learn and to teach.”
He comments that Americans are very curious. I ask what he means by this.
O: “Yeah! You are always asking why, why, why. We do not do that. We do not speak out.”
He explains that in Asia there is an ingrained fear of speaking out against authority and asking why. Those who questioned the king were killed. Those who questioned their teachers were hit. They were raised to believe that their superiors were always right, but Ottama admits that this is not true.
We get on the topic of cremation and death. I teach him the word ashes, which he writes down in his little notebook to remember for later. He learns the word pescatarian from me, because he’s a Buddhist vegetarian who sometimes cheats and has fish. He teaches me about the Pali language, which is the Buddhist language. As a boy, he wanted to learn this language. He saw the other novices and wanted to be like them. That is how he decided to become a monk.
Monk Chat was eye-opening for me. For some reason, I had a very simplistic view of all monks which was unfair and wrong. They just lead a different way of life, based on their faith and spirituality. I had an amazing time just learning from Ottama and laughing with him. The entire experience was so invigorating. Learning about their way of life and Buddhist ideology is incredibly interesting, so I try to talk to monks all the time now in every country whenever I visit temples. Monks—they’re just like us! Taking selfies, hooked on Facebook, and listen to T-Swift.
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