Ringing in 2016 was a blast. Bustling Bangkok, leisurely life on the islands, one of my best friends visiting me for a week— all made for a joyous time. Leaving Myanmar on the December 31st, I headed to Bangkok to meet up with Sabina. I was so excited to see a familiar face! At this point I was at 1.5 months of traveling, and I was itching to see a friend. I wasn't necessarily feeling lonely, but I did want to just talk to someone who really knew me.  Feeling lonely was one of my biggest fears on this trip, but I quickly realized that you're never alone when you're traveling. I'm constantly meeting people from all over the world who are all unique and fascinating. I learn something new from them all and am grateful for what they impart on me. They have all offered a fresh perspective on the world and life, which is what I believe traveling is all about. At the same time, backpackers are doing exactly that— traveling. They come and go. Very rarely does anyone stay in your life for too long.

I have the same conversation over and over again...

Backpacker: Hey I'm _______! What's your name?

Me: (Repeating their name over and over again in my head)  Nice to meet you! I'm Vandy!

B: Van...D? Vandy? Cool name! What does it mean?

Oh actually it's my nickname.

B: Short for?

Vandana.

B: *blank stare* What?

Van-da-na. It's Indian.

B: You're Indian?!

Yep.

B: Really?! I thought you were from (Brazil/Venezuela/Spain/South America/Middle East/insert anywhere other than India here)!!! But you're half right?

Ha ha, no, I'm full Indian. But no worries, I get that a lot.

B: Where are you from?

The States. San Francisco!

B: Cool. / I've always wanted to go there / I LOVE San Fran! Except there are so many hills!

Yeah I know, amazing city! (insert me thinking no one says San Fran)

B: So you must be really good at surfing?

Haha, no, common misconception!

B: Traveling solo?

Yep!

B: How long are you traveling for?

6 months! I'm 2 months in!

B: Wow that's such a long time... I'm just on holiday. / Me too!!! I'm 4 months in! / I'm traveling for a year!

So what did you do back home? Work or university?

B: -Insert random answer- but I quit to travel the world! / I'm in uni but on break now / I'm taking a gap year

Same! I quit my job too.

B: Cool. Why'd you leave?

-Insert my reasoning here- but this was worth it.

B: So where are you traveling to?

India, Nepal, Myanmar, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Malaysia, Indonesia, the Philippines, Japan!

B: Wow that's a lot. I've doing ______.

Oh you've been to (any country I haven't visited yet)?! How was that?

B: Amazing! You should see _____. Definitely don't go to _____, it's so touristic. And make sure you do _____! Also _____ is so fun. _____ is a great party hostel. Hostel X is really clean and cheap.

Great tips, thanks! Where are you headed next?

B: I'm not sure yet. I'm not into planning.

That's why traveling is amazing!

B: We should add each other on Facebook! Maybe we'll run into each other again!

Yeah! Oh wait, what's the WIFI password?

B: Not sure, sorry, what's your name again? And do you know what day it is?

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In no way am I complaining. I'm extremely lucky to be in the position I am in right now. Traveling is a luxury. I have had plenty of conversations that were very meaningful and have made some great friends along the way. However, this particular conversation gets old, and these questions are so stale.

I will admit that I do exactly the same. Oftentimes the roles in this conversation are reversed. I can't blame anyone else for this, it's my own fault too. Maybe I'm not asking the right questions. Maybe I'm not always a charismatic or inspiring person to talk to. Regardless, I've gotten tired of this speech that at this point seems like everyone has rehearsed over and over again. It's weird, because I really enjoy meeting and talking to new people. When I first began this trip, I responded with such excitement, but I immediately noticed that many people seemed like they had their answers memorized. It was recited with no inflection or passion. No wonder! It's boring to have the same mundane conversation repeatedly.

Traveling is about exploring, meeting interesting new people, learning from others, gaining new perspectives, experiencing different cultures, indulging in your curiosities, and quenching that thirst for adventure. It's a quest for personal growth.

So I generally don't care what you did back home. What does that have to do with what you're doing right now?

Why are you traveling?

What are you passionate about?

What are your hopes, dreams, and desires?

What are you afraid of? What are you excited about?

What have you learned while traveling?

It's hard to get past surface-level in a few minutes, I realize that. You simply need more time. With others, it just never happens. Sometimes I ask myself what's the point of having a superficial conversation with someone who I am never going to see or talk to again, which is incredibly discouraging. Then again, I could say that about my encounters with people back home too. It's in the hope that you do get lucky and make an unforgettable friend.

This is especially apparent to me now since leaving Chiang Mai, where I spent heaps of time with someone who I connected with on an incomparable level. Meeting each other was happenstance, when I finally decided to explore the quaint yogi store which I had passed multiple times. From the moment we met, our connection was palpable. His energy was electrifying, his optimism so contagious, his ambition so inspiring, and his heart wide open. I have never met someone like this in my life, and I had yet to meet someone on my journey that I had so much in common with. There was never a shortage of things to talk about. We learned so much from each other— about the world, but mostly about ourselves. In such a short amount of time he knew me better than friends who had known me for years back home.

I've made more memorable friends like him, but so many others are just passing by and are here for a fleeting moment. Solo travelers are inherently selfish on their journeys— you want to do what you  want on your own time and terms. You're not necessarily sticking around with anyone. Though I made an amazing friend, I had to part ways and continue my journey. What's frustrating is knowing the chance of crossing paths with someone like this is so slim. Some say these moments happen for a reason or that certain people come into your life with a purpose to teach you something. Whatever it is, it's hard to let go of a person when all you want to do is stay and hold on. Traveling and living the backpacker's life is a dream come true, but the short relationships and goodbyes always bring me back to reality.

It's the worst going back to endless superficial conversation after spending a significant amount of time with extremely cool new friends. It makes me really appreciate everyone back home. My family and friends, who I could sit next to in comfortable silence, look at them from across the room and with a glance know exactly what they're thinking, find humor in the most random things, and have fun doing nothing. I miss that.

So I'm not giving up. It's not a fruitless pursuit. I'm going to have this conversation a thousand more times, but I'm keeping my mind and heart open in the chance I do find those special people. The kind of friend who I can run into somewhere in the world and it will feel like no time has passed. The kind of friend that when I'm traveling in their home country, I know I'll have a place to stay.